We all know that the benefits of meditation can help reduce anxiety and increase happiness for the individuals who practice it. It can help reduce reactivity and have a positive effect on one’s internal dialogue and even one’s work life. What a lot of people don’t consider when it comes to meditation, however, is how big of an impact it can have on your love life—especially if you practice it with your partner.
“If you can actually meditate as a couple, then it’s far more powerful,” says Dr. Jeffery Martin, a meditation guru who’s conducted studies on the benefits of meditation.
The trickiest think about meditation with a partner can be finding the time to do it together in person. Another challenge can be finding a meditation that works for both of you; however, Dr. Martin tells couples that they don’t have to practice the same method of meditation. They don’t even have to listen to the same audio.
“What you really want to do is use the method that’s the most powerfully effective for you that takes you to the highest form of well-being or calm,” says Dr. Martin. “You want [your partner] to do the same thing, and then you’re really immersed in each other’s electromagnetic and chemical exchanges that occur between people when they’re close. And because you’re emotionally and intellectually close, you are way more open. The defenses that might otherwise shut down aren’t in place, so you have this much greater exchange that elevates both people in a way that meditating individually can’t.”
Dr. Martin suggests that couples practice meditation after exercising to have the most powerful effect. Here are five tips on how to start a meditation practice with your partner:
Find the time. Scheduling meditation time with your partner can always be a challenge during a busy workweek. Partnering it with an activity that’s already part of your daily routine, however, can make it easier. For instance, try practicing after you brush your teeth at night or after you drop the kids off at school in the morning.
Pick a place. Determining a specific place to meditate ahead of time also makes it easier to make meditation a routine. Plus, it reduces any stresses of having to make a decision right before your practice.
Choose your meditation. The most important thing about couple’s meditation is finding a meditation that work’s for each of you individually, even though you’ll be practicing together. Either determine a practice that you both like, or find separate ones that can be done in the same timeframe.
Get into a comfortable position. Each couple is different in how they practice meditation. Some couples sit facing each other with their eyes open—which can definitely intensify the experience—while others lie next to each other. Having some form of touching is always recommended, but it’s really up to whatever makes you two the most comfortable.
Recap. Following each session, discuss your meditation practice for a couple minutes. This will help reinforce the fact that each day is different and help you understand your reactions to daily occurrences better.
Once couples get into a routine with their meditation, it can really create an incomparable, lasting connection. “What else allows you to get into a positive state and then share that positive state with arguably the most important person in your life?” asks Dr. Martin. “[Meditation does] not only that, but it also creates a situation in which your energies are essentially feeding off each other to take you even further and higher. It’s hard to think about what might be an equivalent to that.”